This is a sequel to the last post in the Social and Lifestyle segment of WANDER BIRD – “19 Things People Say When You Are Lean ~ The Saga of Being Thin”. This has been the most popular post so far, with thin people exactly relating to each point mentioned in this article. Rather, they even sent me few more hilarious comments which they’ve personally experienced for being lean. Even if I plan to put all the new details in a fresh post, the list will be unending. This made me realise, how casually people have normalised an abnormal behaviour of taunting or nagging someone constantly for his/her body weight.
Amidst all these inputs, I even received an unbelievable number of messages from across the country stating how they have faced similar reactions from people, just the other way round. There definitely exists another segment of our population which has been bearing the brunt of being overweight! For every single comment that people pass on someone who is thin, there will be 2 comments on someone who is fat.
Since my blog posts are always authentic and based on personal experiences, I headed on a daunting task to gather information about real experiences and real people. Being perpetually thin all my life, I could pour my heart out on the previous post.
I had personally experienced each of the 19 points, at some or the other point of my life. So this time, I decided to opt for an audience engagement for real inputs on their experiences for being thin, underweight, overweight or even slightly chubby. The golden question was – “What was the MOST UNFORGETTABLE or ANNOYING advice/suggestion that you ever got for being underweight or overweight?”
To this question, I received an unending list of comments from people across the country. Some personal messages were specifically directed to my inbox, which clearly indicated how uncomfortable people had become in their own skin due to constant public nagging on their body weight.
Personal excerpts pan India
Here I present to you few quotes, directly from a set of irritated people who have been constantly poked in some way or the other, for their body weight :
- I have heard this same line from many, “Stop eating too much!” Trust me, I eat frequently but in small portions. And I’m not even overweight. But, people always focus on food first. ~ Software Engineer, Telangana
- I never really had to struggle with weight issues. But right after I had my baby, a group of neighbourhood aunties looked at me from top to bottom and one of them said, “You need to lose ATLEAST four kilos.” Yes, these were her exact words. I was pretty stunned. Four kilos! Are society’s norms for women really so strict now? ~ Housewife, Tamil Nadu
- “When you lie down face first on the ground, does your tummy act as a pivot?” This was a blatant comment on my face. ~ Software Engineer, Tamil Nadu
- It doesn’t matter if you are thin or fat or medium or semi-medium or whatever. People will give judgmental comments about your weight anyhow. It doesn’t matter how healthy or unhealthy you actually are. I lost some weight because of stress and health problems and everyone started telling me that I looked nice. So everyone faces this, I guess, regardless of how many kilos u weigh. ~ Ex-administrative services, Odisha
- A relative insisted, “I think you should start having green tea daily.” Some random free advice, straight on my face! ~ Marketing Executive, Maharashtra
- Whenever there was some occasion and it was mandatory to drape a saree, I was made to put on a petticoat over another petticoat to look good in a saree. ~ Assistant Professor, New Delhi
- A common advice for me – “You are so thin. Eat 2 bananas daily. It will surely work for you.” ~ IT Analyst, Karnataka
- When my marriage got fixed, everybody around me had the same advice, “Have some food, especially add more carbs in your diet so that u can put on a little weight. Otherwise what saree or lehenga will u wear? It will not look good on you.” ~ Lawyer, Jharkhand
- “You don’t even have voluptuous hips. How will you get married?” ~ Gynaecologist, Uttarakhand
- I have always been thin throughout my life. Now after 5 yrs of my marriage, I started gaining weight. Automatically everybody has started saying “Ohhh! hmm! ‘pati ka pyaar’ (read : effect of husband’s love). You look good now but don’t put on more weight.” ~ Engineer, Odisha
- “You should control your diet. Don’t eat junk food at all. That’s not healthy at all.” When I was thin, I used to eat anything. Nobody bothered whether it was healthy or unhealthy. Now suddenly, the health factor came into the scene. ~ Professor, New Delhi
- A relative retorted, “You have gained so much weight? Anyway, it’s normal to add kilos after childbirth. You are not a model anyway.” I wish I could tell her that I have a right to be healthy, even if I am not a model. ~ Housewife, West Bengal
- You are already so plump. You can obviously manage if you eat 1 chapati less. Leave that for your husband. ~ Housewife, Uttar Pradesh
- A friend commented on a Facebook post, “You have gained more weight. You definitely need to work out. I’m also a victim, but you anyway don’t have to spend a single penny for free advice!” My eyeballs rolled immediately and I replied, “I took much efforts to match up with my family, where all have a ‘gained weight’. We all need to look the same, right?” ~ Software Engineer, Odisha
Interacting with all these people, I realised one thing for sure. We are a country obsessed with body weight and feel that it is our birthright to pass lewd remarks on a person’s body weight shamelessly. Strangely, we have been groomed that way right from childhood. We grow up, seeing people taunting each about their body weights and end up doing the same. What we consider as harmless humour mostly, might leave an indelible mark on a person’s mind. We hardly realise that.
Amidst this circus of body-shaming, I urge all my readers to give a thought to the feelings of those people who were victims of body shaming almost all their lives. Some people I talked to, had very single word etched in their mind even after years. They have been frustrated all their lives, with anger seething within themselves. Somehow, they exude a lack of self confidence and are extremely conscious about their body weight. The least that they deserve is definitely a peace of mind.
So, next time, you try to pass an impromptu comment on someone’s body weight, take a pause and rethink!