I was slowly submerging into the ocean and did not know how to swim. And I chose to take that scuba leap into the unknown. Little did I realize that it would change my life forever.
It was a bright sunny day in Phuket and I was enjoying one of the best mornings of my life. I had visited Thailand for the first time, with a group of friends and was awestruck with the natural beauty of Phuket. There could not have been a better combination of sun, water, greenery and sands – served on the same platter. On our way to the Khao Phing Kan (popularly known as the ‘James Bond’ island), our captain suggested a quick detour for a scuba-diving experience nearby. And the adventure streak inside me, just couldn’t resist the offer. It was about to become my FIRST EXPERIENCE under water! We were in a group of 6 and all of us jumped at the idea of scuba diving. The negotiations were done and the final payment was completed. The captain was smiling away. After all, his deal was sealed!
Our cruise then headed for a detour and slowly moved towards a small wooden housing right in the middle of the ocean. As soon as we left our boat and climbed onto the tiny establishment, I could feel my heart thumping at its loudest best. “Will I be able to do it?” – I was still skeptical and a million thoughts crossed my mind with every step towards the scuba diving gear.
Back then, I was a 27-year old and did not know how to swim. And it was not without a reason that I hadn’t learnt swimming! It took me years before I could finally face the shower while taking a bath. Until my adulthood, I used to turn my back towards the shower every single day.
I was borderline hydrophobic and my mind kept reminding me with every step towards the scuba diving trainer that day.
As soon as I reached the deck, I realized that it was a small business run by locals. They did not have flashy video and photo arrangements (generally available in popular tourist spots) and the scuba diving gear was very basic. While the trainer was giving instructions, I just couldn’t take my eyes off his teeth stained with tobacco. Each time he demonstrated how to use the oxygen mask, a chill ran down my spine. The hygiene Nazi inside me just couldn’t digest the fact that we are about to grab oxygen masks in our mouth which has been used by countless other people with questionable dental hygiene. Something churned inside my stomach and urged me to throw up. But I still held my guard!
I just had to overcome my hydrophobia that day. “If not now, then never” – my heart kept boosting my spirit.
We were made to sign waiver forms for the activity. I got my diving suit, accessories and went ahead to change up. Since I was quite skinny, the hands of the diving suit fitted loose for me and the breathing gear was slightly oversized for my pint-sized nose. The oxygen cylinder was extremely heavy for my tiny frame. After the final briefing, we were suited up and all set to go. Right then, one of our friends backed out. He just couldn’t muster courage to take that final step.
“Were these signs? Should I abort the plan?” – My mind kept urging. But, my heart kept racing back and pushing me saying – “Keep calm. You can definitely do it.”
As I stepped down, that first touch of the cold waters surprisingly seemed to welcome me. My trainer asked me to lie down and relax on the waters, gazing into the sky. My heart had started thumping louder and louder. I was lying flat and went blank for a moment. It was a strange conflict of sorts between the urge to quit and the excitement to enjoy. Gradually, I started sinking into the waters. I felt the water rising slowly and steadily over my face. The waters crossed my ears, touched my lips and started rising above my nose. I was sinking deeper and deeper. Within few seconds, I realized that I can’t breathe. My nervous energy had started playing with my mind and I fumbled with the instructions. Luckily, I remembered the sign language to state that I was not feeling okay. I was immediately pulled up to the surface.
I removed the oxygen mask immediately and inhaled fresh air. Wish I could explain what exactly my lungs felt, at that moment! I realized that I was following the trainer’s instructions only partially. He had clearly stated – “Never breathe from your nose, breathe through your mouth.” In my nervousness, I had stopped breathing from my nose and simultaneously also forgot to breathe through the mouth. That made me restless and gasp for breath. I was sure that I would definitely not let go.
I took few moments and started enjoying the beautiful sky, lying flat on the ocean. This time, I took the plunge and gave it a second shot. I was slowly and steadily sinking into the unknown. As soon as my head submerged completely into the waters, I struggled. I struggled to find a rhythm between not breathing through my nostrils and sucking in oxygen through my mouth. But, eventually, I mastered the art. I felt lighter and lighter. There was a soothing calmness under water. My hands were shivering with fear of the unknown, but my heart kept longing for diving deeper and deeper. Soon, beautiful fishes started swimming around me. My child-like fervor, so wanted to touch them. But I just couldn’t. They were too fast. I started feeling like a mermaid. The coral reefs were extremely beautiful and soon my feet touched one of the rocks. It felt like standing deep down the ocean. It felt like home. It felt like first love.
The shoal of fish swam in harmony, their territories were not demarcated and there were no worldly rules as such. Probably, that world had an unknown set of rules, which I was not aware of. When I turned around, our trainer was nowhere to be seen. For a moment, the unknown felt like one of my own.
Within no time, it was time to bid goodbye to this surreal world. Slowly, I transcended towards the water surface, leaving behind the deep blue sea. On resurfacing, I lay flat on the waters and soaked in all the goodness of the ocean. Probably, my hydrophobia was diminished and my heart longed to go back to the unknown!