As I sit to pen down my thoughts today, I realise that it is 10th August 2019. Tomorrow, I will officially turn 31. Yes, that’s my age for the records! I’m not too sure if mentioning one’s biological age openly, is within the brackets of ‘etiquettes’ or not. Honestly, I don’t even care. I have never shied away from telling my age, by giving a blatant excuse stating ‘you should never ask a woman her age’. I mean – duh uh! It is not a big deal. Anyway, all that matters is your mental age – what and how you feel from inside.
It has been a strangely hot and humid Saturday today, right in the middle of Indian monsoons and I have been juggling between turning the AC on and off, in regular intervals. It’s a nice and peaceful weekend so far. I had a sumptuous breakfast, went with mom to the local tailor to get few stitchings done, sat and chatted with a cousin after returning home, asked mom to take a break from the cooking business and ordered for her favourite Mushroom Masala, had a cosy lunch with mom and dad and now lying in my room with one of my favourite books – Becoming by Michelle Obama. That’s how simple and sorted my life is, these days.
Running the mindless rat-race and racing against time, seems so baseless today. Ironically, there’s a strange sense of stipulated rules / expectations (call it whatever), which the Indian society bestows upon you, as per your age! So, technically, if you are above 30, there are certain mandates to be followed, as dictated by the guardians of society. And I choose to reject them all and accept my life as my own.
This brings me to the promises I make to the 31-year old me, today :
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Learn to prioritise life over work.
No matter what, never forget that your work is a subset of your life. Don’t let work swallow your whole life. Know what to prioritise when. Spending time with a loved one is way more important than the project timelines.
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Filter out negativity from your life.
With such stressful lives already, there should be no room for negativity, even if that means politely staying away from negative people (be it so-called ‘friends’ or even relatives).
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Read more.
Nothing can be more fulfilling than knowledge. Even if we spend a lifetime trying to know everything, our knowledge might not be complete. Read more and be aware.
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Be honest and frank.
Having a straightforward approach always works best. Never hesitate to voice an honest opinion, bothering about consequences. Good and only good prevails with honesty.
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Stay fit and active.
Never let lethargy take the reins of your life in its hands. Now, that you’ve hit your 30s, focus on your fitness if not done already. Trust me – a good 3-5 kms run changes the whole day for you.
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Indulge in pampering yourself. That’s NOT selfish.
Don’t shy away from getting a manicure done or soaking your feet in warm water for an hour, even by chucking the cooking duties for a meal. Self-indulging is most refreshing. You can take care of others and keep people around happy, only if you are happy and refreshed. Anyway for me, the solution to my every problem is a 3-km run and a hair spa!
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Invest in relationships.
In today’s times, focusing on bank balances is the norm. But amidst the cacophony, don’t forget to invest in the reality of life – relationships. These will yield the most valuable benefits for a lifetime.
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Value real friendships. Set your ego aside and make efforts to stay in touch with friends.
Friends become the family you choose. They are your own tribe. Be there for friends. They will always have your back.
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Feel complete in yourself.
Learn to be most comfortable with yourself. Staying alone for some time should mean rejuvenation, NOT loneliness.
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Focus on real skills to develop for life.
Learn some craft – photography, pottery, music, dancing, art, gardening, anything. These build your real personality, NOT mindless work certifications which anyway don’t have your heart.
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Keep giving those pleasant little surprises to your spouse. The spark should always remain.
No matter what, the romance should always remain. The ways might change, but the spouse holds position no.1 – ALWAYS. There’s no point in a soulless marriage anyway.
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Plan kids only when/if you want to.
It’s okay to be married for 4 years and not have babies yet. It’s even okay not to have babies at all. Take your time and decide the course of your life together. As long as both you and your spouse are on the same page, nothing else matters.
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Travel more.
Travelling will always give you an inexplicable perspective. Make it a point to keep visiting new places and meeting new people.
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Take a break, if the going gets tough. Never say never.
Head-on aggression of 20s should now give way to slow and steady approach of 30s to balance difficult situations in life better. Build a steely resolve and never say never.
Few aspects above, might be difficult to execute. But then, how boring would life be, if there were no challenges and bruises in the process? With much warmth and love in my heart, I’m signing off with this resolve. It’s time to cruise through all the bruises and rock the 30s! May we all get the right direction in our lives herein and countless memories in the process.
Much Love,
Wander Bird