LOVE CYCLES, FEAR CYCLES – A Complete (Work)Book for All Couples

One fine evening, I was working on a writing assignment when I got a notification on my social media account. A lady was looking for volunteers to review a book named “Love Cycles, Fear Cycles”. It had been quite a long while since I’d read a book then. So, even though I have never been an avid reader of relationship-based books, I decided to give it a shot. And there it was! Within a span of two weeks, the complimentary copy was delivered to my home in Texas, USA.

First Look

I would like to make a special mention about the way my anticipation for this book was build up. The lady who had reached out to me regarding this book review, managed to impress me with her sincerity. On our first meeting, she noted down my address and sincerely kept following up and updating me with all the tracking details, until the book was finally delivered.

When I opened the package, my eyes first caught a glimpse of the book cover. It was a light-blue book cover, with a picture of a rosebud embossed on the cover with an adhesive white tape. The caption read as – “Reduce Conflict and Increase Connection in Your Relationship”. That little pictorial representation of this caption was so apt. It actually depicts the essence of the book – No matter what, hold on to each other and nurture your relationship.

Turning on to the first page, I found a hand-written note from the authors – David & Deborah Woodsfellow. What a sweet gesture! This managed to set just the right mood for me to start reading the book – LOVE CYCLES, FEAR CYCLES.

About The Book

It will not be wrong to say that this is a book for every couple. Be it a marriage, courtship or any sort of romantic liaison, this is a book that couples will love. This book conveniently divides the various aspects of a relationship into two cycles – 1) Love Cycles and 2) Fear Cycles.  No wonder this should be a couple’s favourite, since it will save them a lot of money on therapy if they read it thoroughly. Therapists might dislike the whole essence of this book because their patients will heal better a lot faster, just after reading this book. It is written in a direct, personal style that touches a chord by reaching straight into the heart of a relationship. It is majorly significant because the authors narrate that they have had the same experiences before and know exactly how to turn around the unpleasant ones.

The authors stress on the fact that every couple needs to understand their cycles. By understanding your cycles, you free yourself up to work through the fights in a way that brings you closer and helps to meet your underlying needs. This information has been widely utilised with many couples by therapists or counsellors and each time the couples are amazed at what they learn about themselves and their partners. This book is more like a handy workbook (considering the little exercises after each chapter), where the authors lay out the process of understanding your partner in the easiest possible way.

About the Authors

David and Deborah Woodsfellow are the founders and directors of the Woodsfellow Institute for Couples in Atlanta, Georgia. This institute is dedicated to couples who want to enjoy life together, and therapists who want to learn more about couple’s therapy. The authors have bene training counsellors on couple therapy for more than 15 years.

As a Licensed Psychologist, David Woodsfellow has worked exclusively with couples for 25 years, doing over 25,000 hours of couples therapy. In the process, David has helped over 1500 couples rebuild happier lives together.

As a Relationship Coach, Deborah Woodsfellow works with couples and individuals who want to improve their relationships. She has been coaching couples for 10 years and co-teaching workshops for couples and therapists for over 15 years.

In the book, the Woodsfellows achieve what few of even the most competent therapists manage to achieve in self-help/relationship guidance books. They present their ideas in a succinct and easy-to-comprehend format with illustrative examples from their own relationship, and they include guiding questions and useful exercises for each reader to apply the information immediately to her or his own relationship.

My Personal Review

Generally, we tend to choose books based on our personal interests in niche or subject-based recommendations. Strangely, I chose this book for neither of these 2 reasons. It is a relationship-based book and I have no friction in my relationship yet. Additionally, I do not have any particular interest in this genre. So, practically, I had no reasons to actually select this book for reading. But, as luck would have it – I simply agreed to take a look at the book, out of a plain boredom of not reading a new book since a long while. Little did I know, that this would be the most refreshing decision of my life in recent times. It is rightly said indeed – “Impulsive decisions are sometimes the best decisions ever.”

Once I started reading the book, there was no stopping me until the end. The book is neatly arranged into two parts – 1) Understanding Your Fear Cycle and 2) Change Your Fear Cycle To A Love Cycle. I quite love the way how the narrative transitions from addressing a negative aspect in a relationship (fear cycle) to ending on a high-note with a more optimistic conclusion (love cycle). Let me highlight this right away – I took a little time to relate to the personalised examples, cited by the authors. Surprisingly, this particular aspect was garnered with praises by other readers. My fellow readers have appreciated the fact that David and Deborah share so much of themselves. But, I’ll be honest – It took some time to grow on me. Probably because, I had not actually started reading the book with any particular relationship problem in hand. So, I found it slightly difficultly to relate to the way the book was designed on the basis of their personal experiences.

Once I got a hang of the narrative, I got more and more engrossed in each and every word of the book. An honest confession – In the process, I learnt little nuances of a relationship and identified possible conditions to be an impeding fear cycle or a love cycle in a relationship. The most unique aspect is that this book is actually a workbook, with little exercises which are so handy. Whenever in doubt, you are just one exercise away to understand your situation better.

This book is undoubtedly, the best method for resolving issues, improving communication, and building, or rebuilding the connection and love in a relationship. For people seeking for help in their relationship, this is an easy and practical way to get what you want. Follow these thorough, yet simple directions and exercises to learn how to have constructive conversations about topics that have always been difficult to address. At the same time, you will be learning more about and connecting more with the person you love. The authors’ suggestions for positive changes in a relationship are extremely easy to understand and implement.

Favourite Aspect of the Book

Each topic has a pictorial representation attached to it, which makes it so easy to comprehend the authors’ message. The diagrams make it easy to understand, what needs to be done for positive change. The flow of the narration is so smooth, yet powerful.

Grab your copy now!

You will definitely understand the nuances of your relationship better. I would recommend that you read the book together, along with your partner for best results.