Wildflower – Anxious, Alone, Yet Always Available

Anxiety – Often more misunderstood than addressed! Why do we see often see more women having issues managing anxiety? Is she genetically wired like that? Or is it her conditioning which gradually makes her like that?

And our first tryst with someone having uncontrollable anxiety is mostly – our moms. By the time, a woman realizes and understands the depth of her mother’s condition, she is almost dealing with anxiety herself. This is bound to happen when any normal human being takes excessive mental burden way beyond one’s capacity. So, what can be done to make things a little better? Maybe, trying to understand the cause of someone’s trigger, is a good first step to start with.

What Makes a Woman Anxious?

There can be countless reasons for a woman’s anxiety, especially a mother’s – lack of control over certain situations, lack of ownership from other members of the family to take up responsibilities, the constant pressure of performing duties at her best and being the perfect mother, lack of empathy for her hardships, lack of appreciation for her efforts by trivializing everything as a part of her job, by always putting her on a pedestal as such and many more. Reasons can be countless. What matters is how sensitive we are towards identifying that reason in the first place.

What Can You Do?

If you want to genuinely be there for a woman, don’t just spend money on her. Don’t just spend money on hiring additional help for her. Take ownership and manage that aspect of your house completely on your own, without her even bothering about that part. And yes, manage it as well as she would. That’s only how you take the mental burden off her head and maybe in turn, help her not tread into the path of anxiety. Doable?

Very rarely have I come across someone who would hold the hands of an overtly anxious person, look into her eyes, and try to calm things down a bit before making her understand that her concern is invalid. Or maybe try to explain that even if her concern turns to be valid, they are right there to take care of that as well.

It does require a tad bit extra patience to deal with people with hyper-anxiety issues. But it’s completely worth the effort, especially if it’s a loved one. It takes some efforts to make her trust you, the one aspect she majorly struggles with. It took years for her to develop this condition. So, it will naturally take some time to unwind and unlearn. And yes, efforts begin to become mutual only when the start happens from one side.

Irritation is a natural reaction in these situations but ignoring or blasting the woman suffering from anxiety about right and wrong doesn’t help her either. Maybe, that would just put her into a shell and grow that anxiety in leaps and bounds within.

So basically, all it calls for is an extra bit of patience and lots of love from the surrounding environment.

What Should A Woman Suffering with Anxiety Do?

And for the women who are aware of their anxiety issues, don’t just be aware. Give a genuine effort so as to make life of people around you a bit easier. Be a genuine listener. Don’t just keep saying that you understand that there is a problem. Work actively on that problem. Work on yourself before it’s too late. Develop a strong personality to identify and call out a toxic environment. If it doesn’t feel good, it is not right for you. It’s as simple as that. Don’t complicate things by overthinking.

Incompatible people in the surroundings can be a classic reason for one’s anxiety. So, before popping anti-anxiety pills or spending on therapeutic help, it is better to first look at ways to distance oneself from toxic environments, no matter who the concerned people are. Easier said than done, but definitely DOABLE.

With slight efforts from self and slight efforts from the surrounding support system, one can sail through. This journey can be very lonely. And especially with women (who naturally tend to cover up and manage everything on their own by being available for everyone till they reach their brink), anxiety can take a toll at a different level. No one deserves such a life.

Well, I am no expert on mental health, but this is something I have been noticing for a long time now and I really wanted to speak about it. Kindness has always been my approach, will always be. It might fail at some point, but then that’s only how we learn. Lessons are always a blemish on the learning curve of life.

So,
Be kind. To yourself. And to others.

This post is themed around “Wildflower – A to Z of a Woman’s Mind“.