19 Things People Say When You are Lean ~ The Saga of “BEING THIN”

Having been slightly underweight almost all my life, I have come across a volley of sarcastic comments, concerned advice, unwelcome suggestions and what not for committing a crime of sorts – the crime of “being THIN”.

We are a nation where food is given utmost importance (which is great), resulting in a wide variety of cuisine available to be explored in a single country. Consequently, being thin in this country is almost treated as a crime. People will not bother if you are healthy (literally) or have never suffered from any ailments in your lifetime. The moment you come in their range of vision, they just have to blurt out some comment on your weight.

Considering the fact that our people do not believe in adding filters to their statements (read : showing basic manners) especially while criticising others, it clearly indicates one unique aspect about us – we are a country obsessed with physical appearance!! Judging a person on the basis of his/her physical appearance is almost a phenomenon in this country. Being a lean woman almost all my life and having personal experiences of such criticism, I have transitioned from being sensitive – to depressed – to irritated – to resorting to sarcastic replies – to laughing it off – to having finally learnt the art of royal ignorance. Honestly, even I’m quite amazed at the graph of my transition. Right now, I am at my calmest and matured best to discuss about these rather weird comments, at length.

Here is a list of bizarre things people tell you when you are thin :

1) You will fly away even with the slightest of winds. Please hold on to something strong.

Yes, why not? I can perform gravity-defying stunts anytime. Rather, laws of gravity are not applicable to me at all.

2) Don’t you eat anything?

Not at all. I’m a special human being, born with super powers. I survive just on air and water.

3) You should eat more.

Excuse me! The human body has a basic capacity for food intake. Suddenly, I cannot start having 6 chapatis for dinner. That would result in vomiting due to overstuffing of stomach, NOT magical weight gain overnight.

4) You should start consuming beer.

And add on unnecessary fat in my body? Wish you’d known that healthy weight gain should ideally be muscle gain, NOT fat deposit.

5) Your weight must be 30 kg, right?

I’m so touched with your assumption. I thought you would say that I weigh 3 kg, which is actually the total weight of my clothes and shoes.

6) Why don’t you get a thyroid check up done?

My annual health check ups mark me perfectly fit and fine. And wait, I enjoy a bonus – I have a healthier brain too. I think you should get a brain check up done.

7) What are you doing at the gym? You don’t need it.

There’s a right to ‘stay fit’, which is valid for all irrespective of their body weight. Ofcourse, you wouldn’t know about human body, fitness etc. Wish you took your biology classes seriously.

8) Come on! Why are you taking the stairs? You should take the lift and save your calories.

Actually, I can regain the lost calories by just eating. Quite simple, no? Anyway, I feel like counting the number of steps in the staircase these days and revise numerals.

9) You will definitely gain weight suddenly and there would be no stopping after that.

Yes, ofcourse! I’m a ticking time bomb you see – ready to explode. We’ll celebrate together that day.

10) I am really concerned about you and telling this for your own good.

Aw! Thank you so much. But my parents have groomed me well to take care of my own self. I have the ability to think about both good and bad for me. Right now, my brain states that continuing a conversation with you is bad for my mental health. 

A golden rule – the only people who are ever genuinely concerned about you are your parents, nobody else.

11) Don’t worry. You will gain weight after marriage.

Who’s worried here? Considering your expertise on ways to gain weight, the world would be filled with bloated women post marriage. Wait! Why would a woman ever want to marry, knowing that she’s going to get deformed after marriage? Open your eyes and look around you – you’ll find hundreds of women, looking way leaner and fitter after getting married. Any bizarre logic about that?

12) How can you eat a full plate of biryani?

I can even eat you up, if you stand between me and my biryani. Do you want to try testing me?

13) Why are you refusing that extra spoon of rice? Oh yes, you must be dieting.

Just because I am thin, it doesn’t mean that I keep starving myself to death. I eat well (a balanced diet of course) and have a great metabolism. Stop being so jealous.

14) You should thank your stars. You can eat almost anything that you want.

Absolutely! I have tried eating mud, wood, metals and what not. I’m an extra-terrestrial being, you see. Despite anything, I just manage to survive to become a sore in your eyes. Please bear with me.

15) You can sit on her lap in the vehicle and adjust. You hardly need space anyway.

Thank you very much! I’m capable enough to afford my own seat in any public transport.

16) Are you trying to save money by eating less?

Wow! This is so new. Ever tried throwing your random thoughts at someone who hardly manages just about one square meal a day? I’m sure you’ll get a perfect answer then. Going by your logic, poverty should have vanished from the face of earth by now.

17) How are your medical reports absolutely normal? Look at your weight! There had to be something at least.

I know you are quite disappointed. Poor you! Again, I managed to deprive you of that 1-hour long weight-related speech which you’d prepared with such sincerity. Better luck someday!

18) I’m sure you buy your clothes from the kids’ section.

Ofcourse! I intend to share my clothes with my kids in future. Do you have any problem with that? Even if you do, I don’t care.

19) How can you give birth to children with this weight?

My mom weighed 42 kg when she gave birth to my younger brother (her second child) and she’s still rocking with an enviable weight even in her 50s. Now, you know the source of my healthy genes?

All these years, the only person who has wholeheartedly supported me, while I tried to dodge these nasty comments, is my mom. Obviously! She must have gone through the same drill in her times. So maybe, she can genuinely empathise with my situation.

My earnest appeal to all such ‘helpful’ people – Please understand that we are educated enough to understand the pros and cons of being underweight/overweight. We know how to take necessary steps to maintain a healthy life and build/lose weight in the healthiest possible way. We are well aware of the concept of BMI (Body-Mass Index), which might be out of your thinking capacity. So, keep your valuable suggestions/advice to yourselves. We are not going to gain/lose weight, with your incessant words of ‘wisdom’. Stop getting so obsessed with other’s body weight and focus on your own health.

In short, get a life!